Best Christmas Shirt Ever

From: Busted Tees

Here’s a small assortment of some of their other shirts, which are also (though certainly not equally) great:

Repeal Day – December 5th

A week from tomorrow will mark the 74th anniversary of the day the United States repealed the Eighteenth Amendment (aka Prohibition) - thus waking our great country from 13 years of darkness and drought.

As Americans, we should be celebrating this day like no other drinking holiday – it should put the revelry and debauchery of  St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco De Mayo to absolute shame.

Yeah, it’s on a Wednesday this year – suck it up. I know you don’t skip over the foreign drinking holidays when they fall on weekdays.

So go on – revel in your right to drink! Enjoy your liberties! Mock the puritans and teetotalers!

Celebrate your freedom!

You can find an abbreviated history at www.repealday.org/ - additional props to Dewer’s.

“Yes, I’ve got monkeys in my pants.”

Yeah, it’s from 2002 – but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth revisiting…

Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Johns said Californian Robert Cusack had been undergoing a routine inspection at Los Angeles Airport after arriving from Thailand… 

“It became non-routine when they opened his luggage and a bird of paradise took off flying in the terminal,” Johns said.

The agents found three more birds in his bag, tucked into nylon stockings, along with 50 orchids of a threatened species.

Asked by agents if he had anything else to tell them, Cusack responded: “Yes, I’ve got monkeys in my pants.”

Cusack was later sentenced to 57 days in jail.

Read the whole article (from Reuters) here: http://archives.cnn.com/2002/US/West/12/19/monkey.pants.reut/

Monty Python

As it’s a long weekend, I thought it might be appropriate to throw this one out:

A Compendium of 150 Monty Python Sketches

That should occupy a bit of your time.

Thanksgiving Idiocrasy

As I’m sure everyone (regretfully) recalls, part of the salary we pay our elected officials goes to the moronic annual event of the President pardoning turkeys.

“Presidents since Harry Truman have pardoned turkeys, but the event has been updated in recent years to include a bird-naming contest, with votes cast on the White House Web site. “ – article here

This year, the lame-ass winning names were “May” and “Flower”.  My naming suggestion can be found below these ridiculous taxpayer-funded pictures.

Well, it may be a bit redundant, but I think they should have been named:

 

 

 ”Scooter” and “Libby”

…just sayin’.

Do Gangster Monkeys Sniff Glue?

A roving band of what one municipal official has dubbed “gangster monkeys” has been swiping laundry, biting students and eluding police across Daun Penh district in Phnom Penh (Cambodia).

“I have seen some monkeys grab glue bags from street kids and then they climbed up trees and sniffed it up. That’s why some monkeys become violent and attack people.”

Phnom Penh Governor Kep Chuktena, however, dismissed the notion that any of the macaques, which he said are largely peaceful animals and popular with tourists, have been sniffing glue. “No, there are no monkeys sniffing glue. Some become violent because of sexual motivations,” he said.

I say its not the sex or the drugs – it’s that crazy Rock ‘N’ Roll music all the gangsta chimps are listening to nowadays.

Wild Turkey Day!

Yup, Wild Turkey Day is almost upon us. If you’re looking to change it up a bit this year, you might be interested in some special recipes from the very booze the holiday was named after…

Click here or on the picture below to discover some delicious items from the makers of the official Thanksgiving booze (according to your favorite Doctor)…Wild Turkey!

Check out the Bourbon Baked Beans, Bread Pudding with Butterscotch Bourbon Sauce, and Wild Turkey Sweet Potatoes to start.

…and don’t forget the cocktails! You’re bound to have some leftover booze – use it as our forefathers intended! Try something from here, here, here or here.

Monkeys Attack! – Update

Thieving monkeys ‘out of control’ in northeast India

“Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators,” Hiren Das told Assam state’s assembly.

He said the primates were “even slapping women who try to chase them”.

Check out my original post “Wild Monkeys Bessiege Indian Capital” here. -

Greatest Invention of the 21st Century (…so far)

A young 22 year old inventor, by the name of Kent Hodgson, has found a way to almost instantly chill a beverage without using any ice. His relatively simple idea uses liquid CO2 to turn a warm beverage into a cold one within seconds.

Read the rest by clicking the picture below:

He is currently working on patenting the device, and expects to retail it for about $50.

Assuming it works….this kid deserves to be a millionaire.

Which Rat Pack Member Are You?

I normally ignore these types of quizzes/comparisons, but it came from the same source as “The Greatest Drunk on Earth” and ”The 86 Rules of Boozing“ - so I automatically knew I could trust it’s accuracy and validity. (Courtesy of Modern Drunkard Magazine).

Which Rat Pack Member Are You?

Naturally, I’m Dean Martin.